Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Chair Phone and Easyway!

One day during lunch, Kelvin, Jaja and I were walking to the Chatswood shops. My phone had died the previously and my highschool friends gave me a phone for a present.

The problem was that it was a chair phone... A massive phone the size of my head shaped like a bar stool with the earpeice on the base where people sit their bum. Of course it was yet another quirky Nokia design.

So on our journey, Paul decided to call up and ask how the phone was (and crack up in the process, fucken cunt!). Went by a couple of gates and some old lady with a walking frame gave me a funny look.

Me: "Its a phone!"
Her: "It looks so troublesome to use"
Me: "Its a present..." =\

The call ended and I continued to the shops, bumping into a few other people I knew along the way. We finally reached Easyway in Chatswood and got our super awesome milk tea drinks.

As we started to head back, I looked at my watch and saw it was 3:20pm. Damn, I've nearly had a 3.5hr lunch! Shit, better get back!

Quickly gave Jocelyn a hug and started running back to the office.

Perfect timing for the alarm to go off! (Who the hell wants to dream about work?)

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

One cannot simply skydive into Mordor

I was walking to work along a scummy street that looked like Newtown when I saw someone slowly float down from the sky in a parachute.

It was Jocelyn. She touched the ground and greeted me after her morning skydive from a helicopter which picks her up from home and "drops" her off. Of course, work pays for it.

I looked at my watch and it was 940. "Err, aren't you running a bit late?"

Jocelyn: "Oh no I'm late! Gotta run!"

And then she ran off.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Evo servicing, dodgy mechanics, du ma asian gangsters and ultimate cake defence!

We were at some lebbo car workshop across the street from IS Motorsports that Alan took his evo to get serviced. They did the work all fine and dandy and we went for a test drive.
When it came to time to quote a price, they started giving figures for the parts they fixed and it sounded really dodgy. "Hmm, that one should be about $100, no wait $400, nah $500 bro".
The 3 lebs in the car started getting angry at us when we questioned the pricing, since it was way higher than the initial price they quoted of $1600.
The scene changed and we were at the cop station. I presume we were there because of the lebs somehow. On the radio report, we heard that somebody had won an red Integra Type-R from IS Motorsports and was ripping it out across the street because lebbos were chasing it to steal it.
We went outside to watch just as a car was chasing the Type-R and another leb shitbox (I think it was the Initial D 86' Tofu car) slammed its brakes in front of the Type-R.
The Integra crashed into it, but the asian guys inside were all pissed off and came out with machetes to duma chop up the Takumi lebbos.
A passenger from the Integra also ran out, scared and holding his phone, looking for someone to call. The lebs in the car behind came out and caught him.
They realised he looked like JDM celebrity James FUCKING BHS and demanded a ransom! Shit, he dont have that sorta money! They used his machete and cut off part of his finger instead. They tried to cut off the rest of it but he got away.
Pissed off as hell and bleeding, he managed to lock himself into a carpet store nearby. They surrounded him, but he picked up 2 swords on display and held them up. Too bad they were plastic, had "Genuine Swords" written on them and flopped around.
James ran to the back and found REAL swords (without writing on em). He then ran outside to stab up some fuckers as revenge.
The dream then turned into some sort of defence game, much like Lurker Defence in Starcraft. (Basically you get a character(s) to start off with, and kill waves of enemies)
In this game, I was the character wielding dual swords with sheaves in the same way Deadpool does. The first wave came and we were dicing up enemies real easily.
Alan was also fighting in this game, but he was defending a separate path so we couldn't help each other.
During the breaks, food would be lined along the sides of the path for us to get our health back. For some reason, the goal of the first break was to get ingredients for cake.
The next wave was more violent. I let go of a sword and started using both hands to do more brutal attacks with the one sword I was holding. The goal of this wave was to bake the cake.
Third wave was more of the same, but during the break I ventured forward to find the source of all these enemies. We had a choice of eating the cake or not, but I chose not to because theres always food that appears after the waves of enemies.
After the last wave, Alan and I reached the end. There was a bunch of food in front of a house. I tried to get it, but the food wouldn't come to me.
As we walked away, the food started being absorbed by the house! It then grew legs, lifted out of the ground and started walking towards us!
HOLY SHIT WTF THERES A HOUSE COMING TO ATTACK US! All I have is this little sword. Of course we tried to stab it, but cmon wtf stabbing a brick wall with a sword? That'll work well =\
We ran for it, back to the starting point. Panicking with nowhere else to go, we didn't know what to do.
Suddenly, the house stopped moving, grabbed the cake we baked and walked back to its original spot.
The game ended, and showed a scroll with a receipe.
  1. Step 1: Gather ingredients.
  2. Step 2: Create a broth in a cauldron to make the cake.
  3. Step 3: Offer the cake.
There were a few other steps but I dont remember it right now. After that I woke up, feeling a bit weirded out.
I suppose that really ugly white "Queen St" Integra at Burwood I saw last night really shocked me and I've been playing a bit too much Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2.